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Taking one for the team…aka, you hit like a girl…

 
Taking one for the team can mean a myriad of things. Most times in my circle it is referred to in the dating (I use that term loosely) scene. Where your wingman (or friend you dragged to the bar) gets stuck dancing/talking/buying drink/fucking the ugly and/or fat chick so that you can hit on her attractive, hot friend.

Sometimes it means sacrificing your body for the good of the game. In baseball it’s usually getting hit with the ball to take a base. In hockey it’s taking a puck that usually ends up hitting your body where there is no padding(I don’t know how the puck knows there is not padding there…but it knows).

In the fine cinematic masterpiece Armageddon, Bruce Willis takes one for the team, which in that case was our country, by going down into the asteroid and blowing it up with a nuclear bomb.

Monday night I went to take one for the team but got away with it so it wasn’t really a sacrifice. But it still counts in my opinion darn it all. 🙂 See we were playing this team. This team had 4 girls on it who were less than polite and played pretty darn cheap. Not against me or the other girl on our team, but against the guys. Because they knew they could get away with it, and they were.
One girl actually tackled one of our guys and started punching him. He got a roughing call. All he did was lay there and get beat on. Not cool. This made our team less than happy. We started taking lots of penalties. Usually provoked by the girls. Which of course fueled them to do it more. One chick (she was no woman) kept shoving our players during altercations and saying “are you gonna hit me? Go ahead hit me?”

So in between periods our captain said that we were either going to get into a brawl (which he followed up with…we’re not good at…speak for yourself, I excel in that area) or we should start playing hockey (which we never did). So needless to say with 7 minutes left to play one of their girls tripped our player and grabbed on to his leg. He pushed on her to get her off. And let’s just say from that point on…it was on like Donkey Kong. I was on the ice and so I made my way quickly over for support.
At this point I had in mind that I was going to fight and take one for the team. As I knew no guy on my team was going to hit the girl. But I would. 😛
So there she was screaming and hitting my player saying “what the fuck are you going to do about it? Hit me? Hit me? I dare you to hit me.” So I hit her. In the face. She then looked stunned and told me that she dared me…and before she finished the sentence I hit her again. In the face.

Then the ref pulled me to the side. Since I was never touched, I’m going with I won that one. I was thinking I would get in trouble for that. If you play recreational hockey I should have gotten third man in and a double minor for roughing. But I got nothing. I did go and sit the 5 minute penalty for our player that got kicked out, so in away I did take one for the team.

Speaking of the team, here are some cookies that I made for some of the guys on my team. They are a slight adaption of a David Lebowitz cookie from his Chocolate book. If you don’t have it, it’s very informative and has some good recipes. These are nice and chocolaty. The original cookies have cashews but I went with toffee pieces instead. I like it better that way.

Double Chocolate Espresso Toffee Cookies

8 ounces unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup granulated sugar
1cup light brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 tsp instant espresso powder
2 cups all-purpose flour
2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1cup toffee pieces
1 cup mini semisweet chocolate chips 

Preheat oven to 325° F.
Line 3 baking sheets with parchment paper or spray with baking spray.

In a large bowl, using an electric mixer, cream the butter and sugars until light and fluffy.

Add the eggs, vanilla, and espresso powder.

Mix well, stopping once to scrape the sides and bottom of the bowl.

Sift together the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt.

Mix into the creamed butter mixture, scraping again. Stir in the toffee pieces and chocolate chips.

Scoop the cookie dough using a cookie scoop, so that they are about the size of a golf ball, arranging them at least 2 inches apart.

Bake until the cookies are just flat, 16 to 18 minutes, turning and rotating the baking sheets as necessary for even baking.
Let cool about 10 minutes before transferring from the baking sheet to the cooling rack. Once cool, store at room temperature in an airtight container for up to 3 days.

Adapted from The Great Book of Chocolate, by David Lebovitz

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Comments

  4. Yeah, it’s really lame when we insist on being treated equally and then try to take advantage of the fact that really, we know we’re not going to be treated equally…. way to go Peabody!

    also agree with the toffee sub for the cashews here!

    Reply

  7. What a sorry-ass bunch of players. They ought to be banned from the league, at least for the season. If that doesn’t count for unsportsmanlike conduct, I don’t know what does! You should’ve gotten one more hit in. 😀

    As for the cookies, I concur with the toffee sub for cashews. Just looking at the photos is enough to give me a buzz.

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  9. SPECTACULAR!!! Just the post I needed to read this morning. Woke up in a foul mood – dog jumped on me – spilled coffee (with cream) all over my last pair of clean jeans – new cup, jammi pants – read your post – laughed my head off. Thank you!! 😀

    Oh, and the cookies look awesome also!

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  13. Another cookie that I HAVE TO BAKE!! I’m a pacifist at heart, but she had what was coming to her. I agree heartily with Bethany, who said it so well. Enjoy your weekend.

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  15. Wow, that was one seriously stupid chick “daring” everyone to hit her. Her behavior was bad enough that she deserved a lot more than you gave her Peabody, I admire your restraint. Or rather, the restraining of the ref. One of the two. Good for you for sticking up for your team and not letting her be a complete prick.

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  16. Usually I don’t condone violence but DAMN that person was asking for it. Man or woman, don’t be an asshole, or deal with the consequences. 😉 Nice job!

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  17. I like how you kind of just threw a recipe in there at the end to make it a food blog post. 🙂 Works for me!

    You’re so kick ass! I’ve never hit anyone in my life, maybe I should start playing hockey!

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  19. Aww you’re like a Hanson brother…j/k 🙂 She totally deserved it. I hate girls that think it’s ok to hit a guy because they cannot get hit back. Glad you gave her what she deserved.

    Now onto these cookies…freaking awesome! I love toffee in just about anything and mixed with chocolate…even better!

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  20. Peabody, I didn’t think I could love you any more, but now I do. Not only for the cookies (delish!) but also for the fact that you had more cojones than any of those other chicks. Way to be!

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  22. Nice! I don’t feel good about the fact that this beatdown story makes me smile, but it really does. I’m typing with a smile on my face. :O)

    And the cookies look amazing, too! Think my trainer will approve?

    Reply

  32. I have to say. I hate being wingman. I’m actually horrendous at trying to make a complete loser of a guy think that I’m interested him. I maintain I give off F*** you vibes. Unintentionally.

    Hockey sounds dangerous. I applaud you for daring to take part in it. And also for making these cookies. They look scrumptious.

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  36. I used to play on a mixed basketball team so I know exactly what you mean about girls trying to get away with so much more against the guys than they would with the girls on the team. I say that if she was asking “what the bleep are you going to do about it? Hit me? Hit me? I dare you to hit me” then she was pretty much asking for someone to do it. Hopefully she has learned a very valuable lesson from you and will think twice about it in future.
    I think I have this book but I haven’t tried this recipe. It looks like a good one so hopefully I’ll get around to it soon.

    Reply

  37. Bawhahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    Good on you Peabody!! hahahaha…I like the second hit. That was well-timed and she totally deserved it. Your teammates did the right thing; it looks bad for a guy to hit a girl (even though it is deserving). I think your teammates owe you a couple rounds for taking one for the team. woop woop!

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  39. Ok…was she like 5? Because really, over the age of 5 daring someone to hit you is just, well…immature and deserving of a good smack down. So glad you gave it to her!

    Now I’m off to battle the grocery store to get toffee bits so I can make these cookies and daydream about hockey brawls!

    Reply

  40. Way to go Peabody! I love your story, and that is a serious spatula – you could really hit someone with that 🙂

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  44. Wow, I can’t believe the referee(s) didn’t say anything to the girl beating up your teammate. I probably would’ve smacked her at that point, too. 😀

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  45. I have never hit anyone, but I’ve always wondered what it was like (I swear I’m not a weirdo) because I think it would help a lot with, uh, stress. I guess I should pick up hockey. Thank goodness it’s possible since we have the ‘Canes now and the sport has grown a bit!

    I love everything David does. Toffee is a fabulous substitution!

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  47. These have so many of my favorite ingredients Peabody…brown sugar, espresso, toffe, chocolate chips…yum! Glad you surprised that chick…sounds like she was using the girlie thing for bad purposes and deserved it.

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  50. These cookies are delicious! I made them over the weekend and brought them into work; my co-workers have been coming back for seconds and thirds!

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  51. OK, this is my first comment on your site. I had to comment though, because I LOVED this post – pretty badass. 🙂

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  54. just wanted to write and say that you rock!!!!!!!!! she totally deserved it and i hope that teaches her to never do anything like that again!!

    the cookies are awesome too ^^ your story just made my day.

    Reply

  55. What an A-Hole chick. I am glad you punched her and I am glad you make this cookie recipe. She was probably a bully anyway and needed a good beating. Next time don’t pause between punches. Don’t stop until someone tackles you. It is more fun that way. Also go in on it early that way they keep thinking they better back off or that crazy chick is going to come after me.

    Reply

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