Years ago there was a woman on Oprah. I don’t remember who and I don’t remember what she was even on there for but she was trying to convince women that they should wear sexy underwear every day. That they should not be just for date nights and that they would help you feel pretty every day. I have no idea why but at that moment in time that spoke to me and the next thing you know I had tossed out every pair of granny panties I owned. I’ve never bought an ugly pair of undies since because you know if I die in some tragic accident at least the firefighter when ripping off my underwear to save me is like…hey those are nice. 😉
The same should go for clothing. I cannot tell you how many people when doing Weight Watchers would get mad that no one was noticing they were losing weight. They would tell me this while standing in baggy jeans and baggy sweatshirts. I would point out that they needed to buy clothing in the size they were now and everyone would protest. Protest because they weren’t going to buy any clothing until the got to their goal weight. Then they would buy a whole new wardrobe. This is stupid. Very stupid. You are setting yourself up to not feel good about yourself at your current weight, and news flash you may be there awhile. I’ve been losing and gaining the same 5 pounds for the last four months now. Do not put off things until you reach your goal weight…you are in the now…live in the now!
I was a frump for quite some time and sometimes I fall back into the frump trap…but I try to resist. No offense to my mom friends but they fall into this trap as well and complain about it A LOT. I have the problem of working from home. Why get dressed right? Why do the hair? Why put on makeup? I’m just at home. Simple answer…because I didn’t feel good about myself when I did that. The doorbell would ring and it would be the UPS driver and I wouldn’t answer because I looked scary. Then one day I just decided that even though I was working from home I was in fact working, that is my job. If you are a stay at home mom…that is still a job! So I started getting up each day and doing my hair, doing a little makeup (I love BB Cream), and getting dressed. Now I’m not wearing a skirt and heels by any means but I open the door for the UPS man. I can just go to the store, any store, not just Wal-Mart 😛 at any given time. And I feel better about myself every day that I do that.
The other thing I do is wear clothing that fits. Yes I wear hoodie sweatshirts…but with jeans that fit and hug my butt. Because my butt is pardon the pun one of my greatest assets. 😀 Ever go to your closet and be depressed as you try on item after item that doesn’t fit how you want it to? Does your floor look like a disaster area because you can’t find things that fit or make you feel good? Get rid of it. Now I don’t mean for good. I mean just box it up and get it out of your closet until you are that size. If what you have in your closet fits and you like it then that cuts down on the opportunity to feel bad about yourself from the get go. And for the LOVE of all things holy do not have a motivational clothing item hanging up mocking you. It’s not motivation it’s shaming you. Shaming you for having the body you have now. And the body you have now is wonderful!
Now if you are like me you don’t have much money for clothing, places like Target or if you are lucky like me and have a Nordstrom’s Rack near you are great for finding a cute bargain. Let’s start working on you getting to like you! A Project Me of sorts. Now let’s not overwhelm you, let’s start with one thing and do that for a week, a month, however long it takes you. Maybe start with your closet. Go through it and try on everything and be honest about does this fit right now. If the answer is no put it away for right now. Then go and buy yourself one new clothing item. Something that makes you feel pretty (or handsome…men you should be loving on how you look too). So are you with me? Can you commit to changing just one thing to start to make you feel better about yourself? I hope so. The only thing you have to lose is feeling bad about yourself.
So completely having nothing to do with the above (like most of my posts) are these crab cakes. They are from Northwest Noshings the first thing I made for the blog over there. They were very good and the recipe is from a local restaurant we have in Seattle. The chive aioli was really nice with them. Definitely did not disappoint if you are a crab cake lover…which I am.
And of course don’t forget to enter the Harry and David Mother’s Day Gift Box if you have not already!
Crab Cakes with Chive Aioli
1½ hours | 30 min prep | SERVES 4 -6
1 large egg yolk
1 tablespoon cider vinegar
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
1 tablespoon finely chopped green onions
2 tsp finely chopped chives
1 teaspoon Tabasco sauce
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup sour cream
1 lb fresh Dungeness crab meat, picked clean of shell and lightly squeezed if wet
4 cups fresh breadcrumbs
4 tablespoons approx. unsalted butter
In a small food processor, combine egg yolk, vinegar, mustard, green onion, chives, Tabasco, paprika, thyme, salt and pepper.
Pulse to mince the vegetables and combine the ingredients.
With motor running, slowly add oil through the feed tube until the mixture emulsifies and forms a thin mayonnaise.
Transfer mayonnaise mixture to a large bowl and stir in sour cream, then carefully fold in crab meat.
Gently form into 8 crab cakes, about 3 inches across and ¾-inch thick.
Put the fresh bread crumbs in a shallow container.
Lightly dredge the crab cakes on both sides in the bread crumbs.
Chill for at least 1 hour (preferably longer).
Put 2 large nonstick skillets over medium heat and add about 2 tablespoons butter to each pan. When butter is melted, add 4 cakes to each pan.
Gently fry until golden brown on both sides and hot through, turning once with a spatula, about 4 minutes on each side.
Depending on appetites, suggest service of two crab cakes per serving, with lemon wedges.
Source: Adapted from I Love Crab Cakes! 50 Recipes for an American Classic
Chive Aioli
1 cup mayonnaise
5 TBSP chopped fresh chives
2 tsp Dijon mustard
1 garlic clove, pressed
1/2 tsp lemon zest
Whisk mayonnaise, chives, mustard,lemon zest and garlic in small bowl to blend.
Caanan says
Peabody, you’re awesome. I love reading your blog, and not just for the recipes.
Chelsey says
This morning was a morning where I needed to read this. Thank you for what you write here and the things you post on Pinterest about loving your body. You always help give me that little push when I need it 🙂
Katie Rose says
You are totally right about the frump. If you look frumpy, you feel frumpy. I’ve gained and lost 60 pounds 2 1/2 times in the past five years due to three pregnancies. I am hoping to have one more kid so I’m not finished yet, however, I’m eager to be DONE with this stage and the yo-yo weight that for me accompanies it. I can’t wait to dump all the maternity and postpartum clothes once and for all! I’m tired of four sizes exploding from my closet and still not having something that feels flattering. I do need to suck it up (instead of in 😉 ) and just get at least a few things I feel nice in.
Scott Elliston says
As a man, I agree with everything you said. but as a man, I am glad I could agree from behind the safety of my computer screen. Would be afraid of being slapped otherwise. Its not like people have to dress to the 9’s all the time. Just dress like you care about yourself. As a guy I have my frump days, usually the ones where I will be doing nothing but video games. But the rest of the time, I try to care about my appearance somewhat. But we are all beautiful in our own ways, makeup and clothing just add a little flair. Keep up the good work.
Janet says
hahaha that first picture really made me smile!
Alice says
I have a very dear friend who is open about being overweight. Shortly after we first met, she made a comment about being in WW and needing to lose over 100 pounds and I didn’t believe her. The reason: she always dressed nice and in figure flattering clothes and I just never “saw” her as obese. Plus, she’s a beautiful person inside and out and I’ve never seen her have a frumpy day. The moral of the story is similar to Peabody’s message above: you totally can fake it until you make it!
Peabody, thank you for your motivational words today!
April says
Your Pinterest board truly changed my self image, and it stuck. I’m tackling my closet this week!! You’re awesome 🙂
Tania says
You were right. This is just what I needed to read/hear. You are awesome. Pure and simply awesome.
Liz says
First, I love crabcakes so mahalo for the recipe, cannot wait to get the ingredients and make these. Second, I’ve lost over 100 pounds and still have days where I wear clothes that are too big for me because I find it hard to believe that I’ve lost over 100 lbs. Dumb, right? I wear makeup everyday, I fix my hair everyday, I wear perfume everyday. And third, about sexy underwear. If you get into a bad accident, trust me..firefighters won’t be making a good comment about them because you’ll more than likely have pee’d or crapped in them. I was in a horrible car accident when I was 16, had on a pair of awesome panties and that’s what happened..your reflexes definitely let loose in a situation like that! 😉
Melinda says
Dear Liz,
I am a nurse and have taken care of many people in accidents and other emergency scenarios. I can’t remember anyone’s underwear. No ones! I remember when they got better and felt sadness if they didn’t make it. But I never seem to remember their underwear.
(I think Peabody likes the fantasy of the fire fighter ripping her knickers off. It might just be worth wearing fancy pants knickers!)
Congratulations on your serious weight loss. I bet you look great and can run for the bus!
Cheers to you1
Peabody says
@Liz and Melinda- yes I know that no one actually looks at my panties when in an accident and that you usually defecate on yourself as well. But Melinda is right in saying it’s more of the fantasy of the firefighter ripping my panties off. 🙂
Carrie says
Peabody,
I just wanted to thank you. I’ve been a huge fan of yours since the moment I came across your blog. Initially it was because of your drool-worthy recipes, but the more I read, the more I admired you for your honesty and sense of humor, something the world needs more of. Posts like this one just make me admire you more (and make me wish you were my neighbor). Basically what I’m trying to say is, thank you for being you! 😀
Melinda says
I knew it! ( I am glad you let me tease you!)
Joy says
So true!!! But I’m keeping my comfy undies! The fireman can admire the butt I’ve worked my @$$ off for instead (no seriously yesterday’s challenge was 190 squats)
Helen in CA says
Agree w/ your over-all point. OTOH, don’t feel it’s necessary to wear make-up etc to feel good about myself. Find it’s a spectrum from total frump to being-a-model. As long as we make a point to avoid the “total frump”, different days call for different responses. And loving one’s self is every day
Peabody says
Yeah, Helen my everyday makeup is usually just bb cream, mascara, and a touch of blush.
jacquie says
i totally agree with what you have said so well. and yes i fall into the “work at home” trap all the time sometimes willingly and sometimes not. the whole dress “better” is something i really need to work on so thanks for the nudge. got any recommendations for finding good fitting jeans and sweats at a reasonable price?
Peabody says
@Jacquie- I live near a Nordstrom Rack so that is helpful I can find really good deals there. Also Nordstrom has a brand called Wit and Wisdom that fit great and are decent in price. Same with Kut which is still about $80 but I get them when they go on sale for $39 instead.
Becca - Cookie Jar Treats says
I love posts like this. You are very inspirational. And with each passing post I do get a tinsy winsey bit more confident in myself, so thank you 🙂
And I’ll have ti tell my mom about these crab cakes. She’s always looking for the perfect crab cake.
Diana says
I work from home most days also, and have fallen into the frump trap too easily. I have also fallen into the trap of living in huge clothes because I had lost weight, wasn’t sure what size I was (inconsistent sizing among manufacturers is a whole separate rant) and I didn’t feel like it was important to go to a store and try on pants to find out. My weight loss is geared toward getting an endocrine disorder under control and it finally clicked- if I’m going to work hard toward meeting this goal, shouldn’t I arrive there in style? No one walks the red carpet in sweat pants (tempting as that may be). Even if weight loss had nothing to do with it, I am much more productive when I get dressed to work at home, and changing into comfy sweats or yoga pants (that fit!) at the end of the day is part of how I tell myself the work day is over.
cathy says
I stumbled upon your blog years ago when searching for a snickernoodle cookie recipe and found your refund story. I’ve had your blog bookmarked since then under the “desserts” tab. But I would just like to say that I love reading your blog now for the body positive talk. Sorry to admit that I’ve never made any other recipe from your blog except those cookies, but I HAVE taken to heart all your words written about loving our bodies. Thank you
Nutmeg Nanny says
Wonderfully inspiring post 🙂 and these crab cakes look delicious!
Laura says
I can totally commit. 🙂 I really do need to clean out my closet because it’s a hot mess in there!! Thank you for helping me realize that being a stay at home mom is a job and that I should try to get dressed, do my hair, and my makeup. I really should invest in some bb cream, so I can throw that on my face when I don’t feel like putting on my more expensive makeup. Seriously, your posts are the best! I always feel good about myself after reading them 🙂
Bebe says
As always I wholeheartedly agree with you. Wear clothes and undies that mke you feel amazing. It’s not about losing weight it’s about enjoying and loving you. I’m all about the cute matching undies. When I have a big meeting you bet I’m wearing matching sexy nudes lol