What’s better than marshmallows in hot chocolate? How about Peppermint Hot Chocolate Marshmallows which infuse the cocoa right into them.
Monday night my husband and I had an impromptu movie date and went to see St. Vincent.
We don’t go to the movies that often because it’s a bit pricey (we just wait for it to come on Redbox) but we wanted to go see the movie as the trailer looked good.
I don’t say this often but it was worth the $11 to see it.
It was far more emotional than I thought it would be though.
It was still funny don’t get me wrong, but even my tough guy softie of a husband got misty eyed…as where I just down and out cried (and darn it all I had mascara on).
In the movie the mom (Maggie) moves in next door to Bill Murray’s character (Vincent), she took her kid and left her husband since he had a staying faithful issue.
The dad wasn’t paying any child support (they weren’t divorced yet and custody hadn’t been settled) and so she needed to work as much as she could.
Because she was sending her kid to private Catholic schools (even though he was Jewish 🙂 ).
So her neighbor Vincent reluctantly agrees to babysit Oliver (the kid) while the mom is at work.
He being a not a morally good person who is pretty much a drunk who takes the kid to bars, race tracks, and to hang with his Lady of the Night female friend.
The mom doesn’t know most of this until she goes to her custody hearing and the dad had a private investigator follow the guy around.
The mom came home pissed off at Vincent not so much because of all that he had done but because she now had to SHARE 50/50 custody of HER child with the husband.
Oh the horror.
If you follow me on Pinterest you know that I am a big supporter of 50/50 custody and parental/father’s rights.
I think that if both parents want custody of the kids than it should be shared 50/50, no one should be awarded primary custody.
Now there certainly are cases where the man (or woman) doesn’t want to deal with the kids and the other parent is awarded sole custody.
That’s a different story.
I’m talking about when both parents want the children then both parents should get them equally, though that rarely happens.
In the case of Maggie she was so focused on being pissed off at her ex that keeping the child was almost a form of punishment to her ex.
But at no time did she ever say he was a bad father…just that he cheated on her.
You can be a good father and a lousy husband…you can be a good mom and a lousy wife.
In one scene Maggie is explaining to Oliver in a over-dramatic fashion that he was going to be ripped from his home every other week now.
And the kid replied “well he is my dad”.
That’s right, he is his dad.
Children need their fathers go here to read the many, many statistical reasons why.
Primary parents love to argue that having them have to shuttle back and forth each week is not good for the kids.
They have proven that kids adapt to this and it simply becomes their routine.
So other than to get back at an ex why else would a primary parent not want 50/50 custody?
Money.
Child support is a big money maker for a lot of people including the agency that awards it.
As Child Support Services earns federal money for every dollar they collect in child support.
So they are anti 50/50 custody as that would significantly cut down on how much funding they receive.
It’s quite sad actually.
And of course the less money the primary parent makes the more money the non-custodial parent has to pay.
The primary parent is almost rewarded for not working that much.
The non-custodial parent is required to carry health insurance on the children…the primary parent does not.
They have to if they make enough money, but most of them don’t as the majority of their income comes from the child support.
If you make less money working than you do in collecting child support you are not setting a very good example for your children.
Now I fully understand that if you were a stay at home mom and have not worked for a while then clearly you need time to get back into the swing of things.
But if after a couple years you still aren’t working full time then you are probably working the system.
You may be saying why do you care Peabody?
Because the system is broken.
A system that sends the message to kids that one parent is more important than the other is broken.
A system that rewards people judges and lawyers to award primary custody so the state can get funding is broken.
I’m actually on a coalition of child support reform and for 50/50 custody as the new standard.
The friends I have that do have 50/50 custody you don’t ever hear the kids complaining that they were ripped from their house, it’s just their life.
The mom and dad both live in decent homes.
And get along well enough, at least in front of their kids.
The ones however that don’t have 50/50 custody tend to live in small apartments struggling with bills.
While a good chunk of their money (which does not have to be proven that it’s spend on the children) goes to the primary parent.
They drive beater cars while their ex’s roll up at the drop off in a new car.
If you are saying how is that possible?
When a primary parent has a live in significant other or even remarries, that person’s income does not go towards the formula.
So if the new husband/wife makes $300K but the mom/dad is still only making $20K a year themselves…only the $20K is part of the formula.
Seems fair?
I’ll get off my soapbox now.
I’m sure I will get hate mail over this and dreadful comments.
Though know those will be deleted because it’s my blog,
But if I struck a nerve with you ask yourself why?
Towards the end of the movie Vincent tells Maggie, after she tells him all the things wrong with him, that she isn’t mother of the year.
That he may be all those things.
But she allowed her kid to hang out with him and preferred that to his own father seeing him.
Enough of that let’s talk Peppermint Hot Chocolate Marshmallows.
I’m cutting out the middleman and just putting the cocoa directly into my marshmallows this time.
Though I did end up putting them in cocoa all the same.
I also made a few Scotchmallows but not putting those on the blog.
Because they look like giant turd lumps, although tasty.
Anytime you can have homemade marshmallows in your cocoa it’s a good thing.
I support a 50/50 ratio of cocoa to marshmallows as well. 🙂
P.S. It’s a great day to buy my cookbook Holy Sweet!
Want More Marshmallow Recipes?
Circus Animal Cookie Marshmallows
Apple Cider Spice Marshmallows
Giant Peppermint Swirl Marshmallows
Peppermint Hot Chocolate Marshmallows
Ingredients
- 1/3 cup powdered sugar
- 2 ½ TBSP (yes TBSP) unflavored gelatin
- ½ cup cold water
- 1 ½ cups granulated sugar
- ¼ cup peppermint hot chocolate mix (I used Stephens)
- 1 cup corn syrup
- ¼ tsp. salt
- ½ cup water
- ½ tsp. pure peppermint extract
- ½ tsp. chocolate extract (I used Rodelle)
Instructions
- Generously grease bottom and sides 10-x10 inch baking dish with baking spray; dust with 1 TBSP of the powdered sugar. If you want thinner marshmallows to cut into shapes do a 9-x-13inch pan, if you want thicker marshmallows use a 8-x-8-inch pan.
- In bowl of stand mixer, sprinkle gelatin over 1/2 cup cold water to soften; set aside.
- In 2-quart saucepan, heat granulated sugar, hot chocolate mix, corn syrup, salt and 1/2 cup water over low heat, stirring constantly, until sugar is dissolved.
- Heat to boiling; cook without stirring about 30 minutes to 240°F on candy thermometer or until small amount of mixture dropped into cup of very cold water forms a ball that holds its shape but is pliable; remove from heat.
- Slowly pour syrup into softened gelatin while beating on low speed.
- Increase speed to high; beat 8 to 10 minutes or until mixture is white and has almost tripled in volume. Add peppermint and chocolate extract; beat on high speed 1 minute.
- Pour into baking dish, patting lightly with wet hands.
- Let stand uncovered at least 8 hours or overnight.
- Dust cutting board with about 1 tablespoon powdered sugar.
- Place remaining powdered sugar in small bowl.
- To remove marshmallow mixture, loosen sides from dish and gently lift in one piece onto cutting board. Using sharp knife greased with butter, cut into squares or shapes.
- Dust bottom and sides of each marshmallow by dipping into bowl of powdered sugar.
- Store in airtight container at room temperature up to 3 weeks.
KB says
The custody issue is so messed up in our system today. I understand the basis of the non-custody parent paying more child support (to make up for the custody parent having to pay more for the kid), but the way the custody is decided…well, let’s just say the system is easy to abuse. My dad tried to claim 50/50 custody of me when my parents split up, even though he hadn’t seen me in months, we had no contact, and he wasn’t paying one red cent for me. Why? Because he wanted to pay less child care.
Yeah, he was a total gem. 😛
These marshmallows look superb. I know I fell in love the first time I made marshmallows and found out how different homemade are from storebought. I wonder if you wouldn’t have more luck with the Scotchmallows if you tried a butterscotch candy flavoring dram, like Lorann candy oils or something? Unless you’re talking about Scotch whiskey. Which I could totally understand. 😀
Audra Blair says
Peabody – love love love the mug!
On the 50/50 issue – first hand account here of the broken system and a witness to how both sides can work it and work it poorly. I am encouraged to read that some where, someone realizes this and is taking steps towards a solution.
Peabody says
@Audra- yes both sides are broken. I realize that there are men who just want their child support reduced and that’s why they want the kids more. But sadly I know too many good men (my father was one of them until he fought back) that only see their kids every other weekend and one night a week (that’s our schedule) who would love their children more.
Anon says
Fantastic marshmallows aside this post has stuck with me since I first read it and I felt like I should comment. I have no experience where a 50/50 arrangement works well, but maybe for some amicable splits it could. I realized that part of your issue with the custody dispute in the movie is her desire to have sole custody to spite him. In many cases this treating of children as property is just part of an even more…contentious divorce process. As someone who was that piece of property (along with my two siblings)-a 50/50 split would have been the worst possible outcome. We had a sole custody arrangement with no visitation-in exchange for my mother taking on the credit card debt that should have been split 50/50, as they earned roughly equal salaries at the time. All parents seeking sole custody are not just seeking child support-some are seeking the best care and emotional well being for their children.
Peabody says
@Anon- well it sounds like your father wasn’t interested in seeing you as anyone giving up visitation isn’t who I’m talking about. In a case where your father just wanted the debt to go away and was willing to give up visitation then yes your mom getting sole custody is what needed to be done. I’m talking about the men (and women) who actually WANT their children at their house. There are more of them that you think. And sadly the children are treated as property in many of these cases. I know men who the ex gets upset when the dad doesn’t tell her thank you thank you over and over again for ALLOWING any extra time with the children…and that extra time is usually a task the mom just doesn’t want to do like taking them to the dentist or to a baseball practice, etc.
We have several friends with 50/50 custody and it works out great. And no they don’t necessarily get along all that well with the ex but they have made it work for their children.
So my question is to you if you have a mom and a dad who both want the children then one parent should have sole custody?
Peggie says
The best shared custody solution I ever heard had the kids stay at the family home and the parents rotated in and out. Much more stable for kids.
Now, the marshmallows. I’m going to try it with my homemade hot chocolate mix. I’ll have to check to see what a single portion of the Stephens is and then adjust from there. Thanks for the recipe – I never thought to put chocolate in marshmallows.
Peabody says
@Peggie- yes I could see where that would be best for the kids. A tad hard when the parents moved on and possibly had other children with their new partner or their new partner had kids of their own.
Alice says
I still have not made my own marshmallows and it’s been on my list of things to try for a few years now. I must change that soon!
As far as custody & child support: in Texas child support is based on the non custodial parent’s income and family size and does not account for how much (or how little) the custodial parent makes. It’s been my personal experience that we don’t have many true 50/50 splits here either. In my situation, it would not have worked as he rarely saw them and often no-showed his visitations.
Fortune says
I usually don’t comment on blogs. I honestly don’t. However, after reading this I feel the need to point out a few things you may have been overlooking.
Sure, if both parents are great and the relationship just didn’t work out, the kids should never be deprived of their parents simply because of those issues. Ideally, they wouldn’t even hear crap one parent says about the other parent either.
Sadly, we don’t live in an ideal world where that situation is the common one. At all.
Let me give a personal example. My father is an alcoholic. Once my mother had me, he decided he didn’t want to settle down and raise a kid, and spent the majority of my life completely AWOL.
On the other hand, my mother didn’t want to work several jobs to make ends meet and shuffle me off from caretaker to caretaker. She wanted to RAISE me. You know, like most mothers do. She didn’t want me to (in a way) lose both of my parents. So she worked at home. We were poor. Really poor, but honestly I don’t mind. She is a hardworking person that tried to do her best to take care of me. I really appreciate her efforts towards doing so.
Another lovely thing about my dad that is to be noted is that he never paid child support. In fact, he still owes over $48,000 in back charges that he will probably never end up paying.
My mom had primary custody, and I’m extremely glad she did. I would be in one heck of a rough spot if she hadn’t.
The thing is, my story isn’t an uncommon one. Most of the time, one parent simply is not a good caretaker for their children, and I am grateful for all of those parents that took up the responsibility to raise them themselves. This might be a surprise, but maybe most of the time if a parent isn’t working full time, perhaps their children are younger and they want to take part in actually raising their own children. Maybe it ISN’T about the money. Surprise, right?
I don’t know if you’ll let this comment stay, but at the very least I hope you take it into consideration.
Peabody says
@Fortune- I will let your comment stay you weren’t rude and are simply telling your story, nothing wrong with that. But again I didn’t say dads or mom’s that were drug or alcohol abusers. And you stated that your dad didn’t want to settle down and raise a kid. I think that it’s crap that he hasn’t ever paid child support and I’m really shocked that your state hasn’t cracked down on that. In this state if you have a job that pays taxes they garnish it right from your check before you even get your check. I’m sorry that your mother didn’t get the support she needed. In your case clearly your mother needed to be the primary parent.
Your story isn’t uncommon but again your dad wasn’t asking for custody. I’m talking about perfectly good mother and fathers (mostly dad’s) who do not get to see their kids all but every other weekend and a few hours a week for a dinner kind of thing. My father was a police officer with a darn clean nose who wanted his sons and didn’t get them. My brothers mother went so far as to not let my father see the boys telling everyone that my father abandoned them (he had to move out of state for a job). She would drive 8 hours to show up for the exchange since she refused to meet halfway even though was court ordered. She was also mentally ill and had been institutionalize and the state still gave her the kids. Luckily my father was able to get his kids with the help of my brother sending letters (which he used in court) begging him to get them.
I watch good men day in and day out not get to see their kids. We have a guy I used to play hockey with that only got his kids full time when his ex-wife was in rehab (7 times) for heroin use. And each time after she got out he was forced to hand his kids over. And in this state kids can’t help in the decision as to who they want to live with until they are 18…so not at all. Then anytime she is mad at the dad she just keeps the kids from him. And when he files a complaint through his lawyer (which cost him hundreds of dollars to do) and all she gets is a slap on the wrist.
I’m fully aware that not every mom (or dad) not working full time isn’t in it for the money but at some point those kids need things and you might not be able to stay at home with them. And certainly by the time they are no longer in grade school the parent can get a full time job. I mean as a 6th grader I used to watch the neighbors 5 children for money.
And again I am support of 50/50 custody when BOTH parents want the kids. Your situation and the situation you say isn’t uncommon involves one of the parent NOT WANTING to be involved. Which is different than when both parents DO WANT the kids.
Rebecca says
Wahoo! Can’t wait to see those doors! And this hot chocolate looks so yummy!