I know, I know. Where have you been Peabody? The good news is that I have a little more income coming in the bad news is that I have zero extra time it seems as of late and well the blog falls under extra time activity. I’ll work on being better though as it heats up to almost 80F today that also makes me not want to bake.
Enough of that…a little letter writing time.
Dear Printer,
I know it’s not possible to hate inanimate objects but you really are pissing me off. If you don’t stop giving me Printhead Error warnings and not printing even though I have followed your glorious step by step instructions to fix this problem repeatedly I am pretty sure I am going to go all Office Space on you’re a$$!!!! I don’t own a baseball bat but I sure as heck could do some serious damage with a hockey stick…something to keep in mind when you continue to defy me!
Dear Check Out Lady at Target,
First off six bottles of wine is not a TON of wine. What if I was having a party? I’m not but what if? It’s my favorite cheap wine and very hard to find and you have it on clearance to make room for the liquor that you finally get to sell come June. Sorry you did not catch on to my sarcasm when you said “I don’t think I have ever seen someone buy that much wine?” and I replied back “Yes, well I’m a lush and a drunk and I’m surprised I’m sober now”. To which you blank stared at me. So then I will not confirm nor deny that I may or may not have then breathed into my hand and said “yep, sober”. Perhaps it was because I was buying 6 bottles of wine before noon. 😛
Also Target Lady, when you ask me if I want a Target Debt Card and I tell you no thank you…I mean no. It does not mean ask me again but this time try harder. After the FIFTH time you asked me and I declined you should really catch on. And if I want one I sure the heck wouldn’t get it from you just for annoying me so much. PS. I don’t want one.
Dear Construction Worker,
First off you are in the Pacific Northwest and if you do cat calls I can assure you some person will come sue you. I didn’t take it personally other than the fact that you clearly only have one line. “Nice melons”. Which is always nice to hear especially when I am not actually carrying fruit, however, anyone ever having met me in person knows that while not bad melons, they aren’t the kind of melons that people would be overly excited about. In fact, they are really more like limes. 😛
Dear Universe,
Turn down the gravity ray…I’ve been less than graceful as of late.
Dear Business Costco,
Why must you always seduce me with a giant tub of mascarpone cheese that does not fit in my fridge? I bought you and now it’s a race to see how much I can make with you. I made mini spice cakes because my friend and I were talking about candied ginger. She loves it and me not so much. But I figured I would give it another go. I have to say I think it actually adds something nice to these.
Sour Cream Spice Mini Cakes with Mascarpone Frosting
2 cups cake flour
1 tsp. baking powder
¼ tsp. salt
2 tsp. cinnamon
½ tsp. nutmeg
2 eggs
1 cup sour cream
2 cups brown sugar, lightly packed
½ cup golden raisins
¼ cup candied ginger, chopped finely
½ cup walnuts, chopped
**Note this recipe does not use butter so that is not a typo
Preheat oven to 350F.
Spray baking spray on two 24 cup mini muffin pans. Set aside.
Using a stand mixer with a paddle attachment, beat the sour cream and eggs together on medium speed for 2 minutes. Beat in the brown sugar and mix until fully incorporated.
Add the flour, baking powder, salt, and spices and beat until smooth about 2 minutes.
Fold in the raisins, ginger, and nuts.
Fill batter ¾ of a way up the muffin hole. Bake for 12-15 minutes depending on your oven. Let cool for 10 minutes and remove from pan.
Let cool completely before frosting.
Cake adapted from The Buttercup Bakeshop Cookbook by Jennifer Appel
Mascarpone Frosting:
8 ounce mascarpone cheese
¼ tsp. orange extract (or vanilla)
2-3 cups powdered sugar (depends on what consistency you want)
Using a stand mixer with the paddle attachment beat the cheese and extract together on medium-high for 3 minutes. Add the powdered sugar one cup at a time until you reach desired consistency.
Alice says
Ha ha – we were just talking about Office Space at lunch today! …but, sadly, no discussions about melons…
Martha says
I so wish I was behind you in line at Target. That would have made my day. Clearly that lady 1)doesn’t get out much and/or 2) is a member of the Teatotaller party
Mrs. L says
It’s always fun to try to figure out what to do with big Costco tubs of stuff.
Not so fun to deal with Target ladies like that. And six bottles of wine? That’s nothing!
amanda @ fake ginger says
I’m just here to say that I’m jealous you can buy wine at Target. I have to make a separate stop at the liquor store (where they all know me by name) whenever I need something.
Also, too much mascarpone is never a problem. I would be eating it with a spoon. Or maybe my fingers.
hobby baker says
Lol, I love your rants. And totally awesome, I have everything to make a half batch of these, including a half container of mascarpone that I need to use up too!
Emily says
Haha! I am a cashier at Target and I totally understand how annoying it is to be asked for a red card every time. We are required to ask though, so try not and hate TOO hard. 😉
Peabody says
@Emily- totally fine with the first time you ask. Have a BIG problem the FIVE times after I had said no.
Diana says
It’s ok about not having as much time- more income is always a good thing. You are by far one of my more active bloggers I follow, so if you slow down a bit it’s no huge deal, I’ll still happily follow 🙂 I can’t believe that Target lady asked you 5! times!!! I probably wouldn’t have been nice anymore by that point.
Carrie says
As the owner of limes myself, I had to chuckle at the letter to the construction worker. 🙂
Money isn’t everything, but yay for making a little extra. 🙂
Becca - Cookie Jar Treats says
I love your little letters. They make me laugh, so do your actions. I’m pretty sure if I overheard your conversation with the Traget lady I’d be giggling under my breath.
Oh an I liked the little disclaimer at the end of the ingredient list for the spice cakes. 😛 Is this the first sweet treat recipe on here without the use of butter/heavy cream/etc.?
B says
HAHA on the construction worker! Hilarious. Oh and the Target lady , yowza she’d think I have issues. Who comments on someone’s cart!?
Aly says
I usually have nice people at Target, so I guess I luck out 🙂 That’s silly to give grief about 6 bottles, though!
patsy says
Office Space was just on this weekend… I was thinking it would be nice to knock down one of my cubicle walls and get a view of a window… only I’d just get a view of another wall where I sit.
Adam says
These type of posts always remind me of the Jimmy Kimmel sketch… only funnier :).
And what’s not to like about limes? 🙂
Darlene says
I was at the Costco Liquor store (Canada) the other day and the nice gentleman cashier asked me if I thought my 6 bottles of wine and a 6 pack of Mike’s hard lemonade would be good for the next week. Ha ha.
Anneliese says
In regards to Target Lady.. maybe the next person she gets with be one those three carts full of stuff.. tons of coupons to ring up.. 🙂